S has been wanting to post our individual birth stories; I am C and this is my account of the events that began on 2-23-09. Please be aware my version is a little hazy thanks to the intense pain- brew of narcotics, and at last the delicious epidural. On Monday the 23rd S and I traveled to the doctors office, I was a bundle of nerves, S was just stinking excited. Even though I had drank my weight in fluids to boost his fluid level I knew in my heart that his fluid levels would be lower than the previous week, meaning they would want to induce...I was right.
As we looked at our little boy on the screen searching for amniotic fluid, there was almost none, less then 5- I guess in pregancy land this is a danger zone. Our midwife told us to get to the hospital- we made a few brief stops:
First, our home to get our things, and the dogs who would be dropped off and grandma and grandpas. S was a mess when we got home. Usually the packing is all up to me, I don't forget things and am anal about double checking. S left me no time for this as she ran around the house, so once we rounded the corner for the next stop I said, "crap, I wanted my book. oh well..." S responded with "oh and the champagne, blessing cup...yadda yadda yadda" Back to the house, S ran in and came out with a bag filled with extra stuff- I still don't know what was in this extra bag, as she wore the same outfit for most of our hospital stay.
Second, we dropped off dogs.
Third, the last meal. I knew an induction meant nothing but clear fluids, I wanted a double cheese burger and a chocolate shake. There was some debate on whether to stop at our favorite chocolate shop, but we headed right to the hospital after our Mc D delicacies.
The Main Event:
We got to the hospital at noon, registered and got our room. Room number 10, which our midwife called a closet. Great, stick the lesbians back in a closet- of course!
Our first nurse, Betty Lou(whom I refer to as Betty Lou Who) was sweet, loved to talk about nothing, and was good at knowing nothing about what the doctors were doing with me. She hooked me up to the baby heartrate monitor and IV. The good Dr. poked her head in for one second and said she remembered us from one our appointments and that our midwife would be in later.
After three hours on the IV I was irritated- the midwife had said I would get the IV and cervidil, the magical cervix softening stuff. I was nervous about the cervidil, but knew it was necessary to get the show on the road because the longer we waited the more his fluid would drop, increasing the risk of a c-section.
I asked Betty Lou Who why I hadn't started being induced, she said her orders were just to give an IV, but she would check with the good Dr. My whoville friend returns to say Dr. said change of plans and she would like to keep me on IV for 24 hours. NOW I AM PISSED! I could have loaded myself on fluids at home and not been strapped the this cardboard slab of a bed, only able to walk to the bathroom that was two feet away. I asked if when she switched IV's if I could walk around for a bit, she said no...GRRRR.
I was seething inside, and then in pops Midwife 1 (We were blessed to have both midwifes be a part of our birth and love them both dearly). She is also seething. It appears the good Dr. had over ruled her decision to start inducing. I was angry for her, she had made the best decision for our baby and I, and had been vetoed- both of us powerless. I remained calm, for the moment, and reassured her that I knew it wasn't her fault. I so appreciate that she took the time to be honest with us and cared enough about our family to be upset for us.
Two more hours pass, and I just keep getting more angry. The good Dr. made a decision about our baby- that he could wait. But she never examined me, never looked at a sono to see our little guy had nothing to swim in, she just made a decision. Well what the heck, who was she to risk my child's life and increase my chance of having a c-section, taking away my desire to push the little one out on my own. (This is where S would tell me to not be dramatic. I may not know all of the medical jargon and I am sure the Dr. is not a complete idiot and didn't want anything bad to happen to us. However, I know enough that having very little fluid is not healthy for our child.)
I text Midwife 2 in a rant. She calls us and says how sorry she is and that Midwife 1 had called to fill her in. She says not to be afraid to speak up. While loudly speaking to Midwife 2, in walks Whoville- she hears my angry tone. I say to midwife, I haven't seen the Dr., Whoville speaks, "yes, you did when you first got here." Now I am pissed, so I say in to the phone, "oh yes, I saw the good Dr. she popped her head in, I saw her, she left."
After I got off the phone I looked at S and said what do we do? Before she could answer, a new nurse came in, thank God! At this point I was ready to fight for our family. I explained how mad I was that I had just been laying here all day, and was sure that my fluid levels were still dropping and how I wanted a natural birth and I felt like the Dr. wasn't giving us a fair chance to have the birth I wanted. Magically, the nurse says the Dr. had decided to give me a sono! Thanks Whoville for hearing me complain and then telling the good Dr. that I was a cranky beast, much obliged!
In walks my Dad Jim, I explain the story. (PS Dad was supposed to bring a Diet Sprite and forgot, I still haven't, hahaha) Sonogapher comes and looks for fluid. SURPRISE, the largest pocket she could now find was a .75. Remember 5 was the danger zone. S looks at me and gives a smirk, the kind that lets me know I did the right thing by speaking up and that all was right in this world because we knew the midwifes were right about our care. We so trust them.
Sono lady leaves- nurse comes back and says Good Dr. would now like to induce. Hey, thanks doc. guess the midwifes weren't full of crap. Good Dr. comes in and shoves the magical medicine where the sun don't shine. I say shove because it hurt like hell. How do I know it doesn't always hurt for every woman...fastforward 12 hours to when the first dose did nothing, I had a second round. The new dr., who actually was good, inserted the second round- didn't feel a thing.
During that 12 hours, where the first round was attempting to do its job, S reclined in a mini lazy boy and tended to my every need. S really was amazing through it all, held my hand, laughed, cried and couldn't have been more supportive. I am so in love with who she is and how she is always By My Side(thats our song).
Okay while round 1 did nothing, round 2 kicked my butt. I got the medicine at 1pm. At 1:15 pm my mom and dad Mikw(yes I have two dads, I am a lucky girl) come in from NC. Dad brings a milkshake- that is about all I remember from their visit. By 1:30 midwife 1 comes in to check on me, I shamefully ask for pain meds. This kills me as I didn't want any drugs- I wanted our little man free from any of that stuff. But the pain was intense- it came in waves and I kept saying to S, I don't know if I can do this. She assured me that everything would be okay. I asked for half a dose of narcotics, still clinging to the possibility that I could use very little pain meds...twenty minutes later I asked for the rest of it. S crawled in to the tiny bed with me and held me, God I love her for that.
The next six hours are a fog. We switched rooms and I clung to the left hand rail of my new bed in agony. The pain meds sucked and did nothing, I did manage some sleep- so I guess they were good for that. I didn't speak at all during those six hours- I couldn't. I just was silent, the pain came in waves and I counted to ten each time it hit. This helped.
S, again, was great at this time, good friends came to visit, I didn't acknowledge them, but S talked for a while. They brought beads for fat tuesday :) which I later appreciated. S tried to rub my face and back, still not speaking I just removed her hand from my body. Everything hurt, but I so appreciate her effort. In my haze I remember both midwifes together checking on me, I didn't speak. Around 6:30 pm I had to puke. Yup, projectile- bed pan, S, the bed and myself all covered in puke. Delicious, off to the shower we go.
S tries to retain my dignity and gently washes me off, i growl at her and say just take my clothes off. At this point I would have walked naked down the halls if it meant i would feel better. She hoses me down, thanks again S!
At this point I have to pee. Something new is happening in the nether regions we discover and call in the nurse, the new batch of special meds if falling out. OH GREAT I think, now I have to do another dose because this one fell out...I didn't.
Nurse called midwife 1 in to check me, I as 4 centimeters dialated! WooHoo. S cheered. Now I ask for the epidural. She says am I sure, knowing I didn't want one originally. Heck yes, I am sure, bring me the drugs, sign me up, and lets have a baby.
Around 7:30 pm the amazing Dr. comes in baring the epidural, I love this man. I still hate that i wasn't strong enough to just go natural, but I am proud for taking the pain for so many hours. S was sure I was going to be one of those loud women in labor- who scream and swear at their partners. I usually am dramatic, but in this pain I was just silent, I think it shocked her. With the epidural I was no longer silent. I appologized to the new nurse K for not saying hello and for the puke :) I also asked where midwife 2 went, S didn't know.
Midwife 1 checked me again 7 centimeters, woohoo. I asked about midwife 2, she said that she had called her and told her my progress and that she would also be at our birth. Oh wow, so excited to have both midwifes, they are so incredible.
Around 9:20 pm S looks sick, pale, clammy, I am worried. She runs to the bathroom. While S is brewing up her own fun, the midwife checks me again, 10 centimeters! She says it is time to push, I say you better check on S. Nurse K knocks on the bathroom door and asks S if she is okay, a moan comes out, Nooo...Nurse tells S to unlock the door that moment. Shortly after S emerges looking a little worse for wear. I ask her if she is okay and she says not really, i say she better feel better fast I am at 10.
In true S fashion she perks up instantly, blue eyes glowing and claps, "really!" i say yes and she clammers, "oh okay wow..."
At this point both midwifes are there and they tell S how to hold my leg. By 9:40 I am pushing. S was so good during the next two hours of pushing. So encouraging and sweet and excited. She would constantly tell me how good I was doing and being all excited to see his little head. I didn't open my eyes much while pushing, but I do remember opening them up long enough to look in S's reassuring eyes.
Not so reassuring was the Midwifes secret babble. Yes, they talked in code about my netherlands, which are aparently too small for baby's head. He is stuck on my pelvic bone and his little head is swelling. I can tell there is some concern, but I still want to do this on my own, no c-section. I love them for having faith that I could push him out. Even with his little head swelling his heart rate was strong. The midwifes had also put a special something inside to run some sort of water in his sack to keep him out of danger.
I pushed and pushed. At one point S got out the beads, everyone put some Fat Tuesday beads on to celebrate. Midwife 2 wrapped them around my legs and dangled some in front of baby to will him out. HAHA I love that part of our birth. I remember people laughing and talking and having a great time. I had my eyes closed but I could feel the beautiful energy in the room. It was really magical.
As people chattered I would anounce when I had a contraction, midwife 1 would say, "let's use it" midwife 2 would count and reassure and chear me on, they both pointed to spots on my belly from which i should be pushing, this helped.
What didn't help so much, sorry S, is S holding up one of my legs. You see, S had not recovered from the prior bathroom incident and was still woozy. She would reach to get a sip of apple juice periodically and would take my leg with her as she reached, oh man this hurt- eventually i told her so. Midwife 2 also held a leg some of the time. I wish she would have the whole time, she was such a great coach and held it just right so I wasn't straining. I think lifting my legs up drained a lot of my energy.
Midwife 1 could see I was getting tired, as his birth neared I would get louder when I pushed, my pushes weren't stronger mind you, I just grunted louder. I think it was she who said I didn't need to get louder, I needed to push harder, hahaha...so true. Thanks for the honesty, I loved it.
Eventually midwife 1 spoke again, she said something to the effect of, "I want to ask you how you feel about this...episiotomy." I said will it hurt, she said no, I say then go for it. Then I panic and say, "will I hear it?" she says no I say are you sure, and then i instruct all in the room to tell me something just in case. Five people all spoke up and started telling me different stories, lol. It was such a great moment, I laughed. It didn't hurt and I didn't hear it.
When she goes to cut me, she looks as S and says, don't look. S does and turns all shades of green then white. I start speaking, "S is not okay, someone get her juice," S stammers "I'm okay" but I know better I say S sit, and drink juice. She agrees and sits for a few seconds. Midwife 2 takes my left leg. S stands and grabs the camera, our little man is just about to enter the world.
I remember the final push and the relief of pressure, then there he was on my chest, I rubbed his back, he was beautiful, everything I imagined and more. What I wish I remembered is S's reaction. To know S, is to know how excited she gets, I love this enthusiasm. She later told me she jumped up and down clapped and cheared. :) It makes me smile to imagine that.
S cut the cord. I watched, this was an amazing moment.
The next thing I know our sweet bamboozle is wisked from my chest and taken away. S panics and looks at me, where do I go, where do I go. I calmly say it's okay go with him. They were just taking him for clean up and weigh, nothing to be concerned about, he is a healthy baby boy.
Rhys Oak entered our lives on February 24 at 11:48 pm, he is an amazing little boy and I feel so lucky to have him and his mommy in my life. Thank you both for you.
S and I have the midwifes and nurse K to thank, they were amazing. Seriously, both midwifes are amazing women: strong, passionate, loving. Our family was so blessed to have them at our birth. I have so much love in my heart for them.
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