no. shame.

the following story is true. and gross. so i wouldn't blame you if you decided to skip it altogether. actually, the only reason i am even writing what, could possibly be the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me, is because maybe it will make me feel better about missing tucking the girls in tonight. i am brokenhearted over missing our evening visit...

it all started today at school, around lunchtime-ish. i started feeling funny in my tummy, so i thought that maybe i was hungry, or maybe the cookie (or three) that i ate for breakfast wasn't agreeing with me. so, i ate lunch, and it didn't get better. i thought to myself, "self? is this one of those times when you would feel much better if you went potty?" but i was also feeling possibly queasy, so i sent a kid to find another teacher who could come and watch my class as i hid in the restroom for a bit.

sure enough, i threw up. then i went #2. i cleaned myself up and went back to my classroom and made it through the rest of the day...

i went to visit the girls, but i started feeling yucky again, so i sat back and just watched them for a bit. then i started to get that all-too-familiar-feeling, and i knew that i had to hurry up and got outta there! lyncoln's sweet nurse was weighing her and asking me if i'd like to snuggle with her... i jumped up and mumbled something like, "no! i have to go get rhys" and took off, leaving her there holding a sweet naked baby and a confused look on her face (sorry, meghan!!!) i was not going to go to the bathroom in the nicu, the ronald mcdonald room was occupied, so i made it to the restroom next to labor and delivery. there were lots of people there, but, at this point, i did. not. care. as soon as i shut the door, i stared ralphing. all over. i bent over the toilet to finish up, and then it happened. I POOPED MYSELF, PEOPLE!!! like not a little bit, either! and i couldn't do a thing about it. so i kept puking and pooping.

finally, when i caught my breath, i realized what a mess i was in. i had to throw my favorite orange unmentionables away. in the hospital's public restroom!!! as i was cleaning the splatters up, i called c. i told her that i puked and pooped on myself. she seemed unphased and brushed it off. it turns out that she was at her major event's rehearsal, and couldn't really hear me.

soooo, after i was sort of cleaned up, i prayed that i could make it to my car. in my crappy pants. without puking and pooping some more. i made it to the ground level restroom, sat for a bit, then rushed to my car. thank goodness i had a bag in there to sit on.

i went and picked up the chicken. i could not get him fast enough. by the time i got him in the car and pulled away, i had to throw up again. i squeezed my buttcheeks together and prayed. i pulled over to throw up in a bag (yes, the same bag i was sitting on- don't judge me!), but the wave passed, and we made it home.

i got us inside, took our shoes off, and raced to the bathroom to shower and puke some more. it took all i had to plop a bowl of cereal and juice in front of the chicken for dinner. the dogs are really lucky that they didn't have to wait for c to feed them.

c called a bit later and asked me if i wanted her to stop home to put the chicken to bed before she went to see our girls. i was oh so appreciative of that! she also brought me home some ginger ale...

which, brings me to now... the first night since our daughters have been born that i haven't been there to tuck them in... but a tleast i think that my tummy is better... and, i will whisper extra thoughts of love and send them extra hugs tonight...